Friday, 4 May 2012

Love me. Hate me. I don't care.

Nothing is harder than self-appraisal: few words could never ever capture the true essence of a person.

But lemme give it a try. :)

I am everything but simple-minded.

I have a good head on my shoulders — an intellectual elite.
I am smart and I know it.

I am pushy, highly-motivated and ambitious ... but I am NEVER materialistic nor opportunistic.

Loyalty, integrity, honesty, dependability are my strongest points while belligerence, stubbornness, impulsiveness are my negative traits.

My mom says that I am a self-made woman (I guess!).
Some close friends insinuate that I am a bully (What! That's unjust distortion of the truth!); while others retort that I am just feisty (Indeed!). Well, I reckon I am just independent and opinionated.

I tenaciously cling to my conviction that when you do your best in all aspects of your life, opportunity will just present itself to you.

I am very passionate about everything that I believe in. I cannot be swayed. I cannot be persuaded. I cannot be dissuaded. I believe that if you don't stand up for something, you would fall for anything.

I love deeply. I love endlessly. I love truly. I love like crazy. Thus, I love only few. :) (Now multiply that by infinity, take that to the depths of forever, and you still barely have a glimpse of what I'm talking about.)

I have a fair sense of justice. Everyone is equal, thus, everyone should be treated with respect.

I am addicted to constant and never-ending self improvement. I further my studies. I ask for more tasks and responsibilities. I keep on reading. I keep on studying. I keep on listening. I just love to keep on learning! :) I truly believe that the biggest room in the world is the room for improvement.

I am spontaneous and impulsive. I don't plan ahead — I believe that the greatest moments in life are best left unplanned.

All my life, I have failed countless times. I didn't only fail. I crashed and burned. I shattered into thousand pieces.

Instead of failing backward, I chose to FAIL FORWARD. I lost some games .. I lost some things .. But one thing I didn't lose: THE LESSON. Those failures only served as my impetus to strive harder.

I learned that only one thing beats bad luck, that is hard work.

Time is ALWAYS of the essence. That's my mantra. I make every minute of my time count.

My emotion is the fastest thing ever created .. It could travel from heaven to hell in seconds. Treat me right, and I could be the kindest angel you've ever met.. Treat me otherwise, and I could be the biggest pain in your ass! ;)

If wronged, I tend to be scheming and vindictive. (I know ... I shouldn't be. I oughtta be more forgiving. But that's my nature. It's like asking water NOT to be wet.)

My bestfriends use the euphemism "tough" to describe me. I am always short-fused whenever I receive nefarious treatment from others. I always stand my ground. I always refuse to be pushed around.

My bullheadedness is often misconstrued for aggressiveness when in fact, I just multiply what I get. So when people give me a smile, I give them my heart .. But when people throw stones at me, I throw back daggers! :D

Whatever!

What others think of me doesn't necessarily define me.
And what doesn't define me doesn't really concern me. :)

So, go ahead ...

Love me. Hate me.
I don't care. :)

Being Alive - Despite All the Pitfalls & All the Shit - Is Just So Damn Good!

I believe in reincarnation and with full conviction, I believe that in my past life I was an atrocious person. When I love, I love passionately. I love with all my heart; I love with total and reckless abandon. But when I hate, I’ll just ignore you. I burn bridges, dump people just like that. When people are mean to me, I am meaner to them. But when people are good to me, I am a hundred-fold good to them. When I miss someone, I don’t want to see that person. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a teacher, but now that I’m grown up, I want to be a student. When I’m hurt, I cry. And when I cry, I hurt no more. I break free from the stereotype, goody2x, simpleton girls. One moment I am taciturn and elusive, the next moment I am a silly chatterbox; cracking jokes, shrieking like banshee, talking nonsense, laughing hysterically. I am impetuous, I don’t plan ahead, and I decide the moment I feel like it. I am not judgmental and belligerent, but in every fight I encounter, I am always right. Hehehe... Patience has never been one of my strongest points. I have an independent streak that many people misconstrued as stubbornness. I see the world in 400/400 vision, I must admit it is vague, unclear, but beautiful! I intoxicate myself with sunflower’s delicate beauty and hyacinth’s sweet smell. I keep on telling myself to live the present and look forward to the future. But deep down, I look back and reminisce the bleak past. I’m a romantic fool but ironically, I don’t believe in my own happy-ending. I’m a lunatic idealist and I cry every time I watch Brave Heart. I hate banterers. I don’t believe in accidents. Everything that happens is bound to happen. We are nothing but little pigments of the grand plan spun by God’s hand. I don’t intend to end my life with a PERIOD; I want to end it with a BANG! I believe in paradoxical, contradictory myriad of ideas, but I only live ONE mantra: BE HAPPY. I am happy, and screamingly alive!

Being alive, despite all the pitfalls and all the shit, is just so damn good!

Fearless Gutter-Fighter

Impulsive, unconventional, outside-of-the-box thinker, fearless gutter-fighter, extreme life-survivor but deep-down a broken crying baby! I am an honest person, and I don't like to appear more than what I truly am. I am perfectly imperfect, TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT! I value my true friends as I value myself .... I have very high standards when it comes to who i keep in my life. I value LOYALTY and HONESTY above shallow looks, wit, status, prestige and wealth. I am a keeper but at the same time I can just throw away ANYTHING or ANYONE if I get hurt or betrayed. I don't look back and I don't regret leaving 'unworthy' people behind. I just regret the time I wasted on them. I am ALWAYS there and very selfless of myself, but when I get crossed, I don't forgive and forget. I am extremely good to those who are good to me, but I am extremely bad to those who are not. I don't ask much ... only loyalty and honesty, nothing else.